Healing, Adventures & Simple Joys

There’s a moment — somewhere between the sigh and the eye twitch — when you realize you’ve been tolerating way too much for way too long.

I was sitting across from someone I’ve known and loved for years. Let’s call them “Alex” (because naming them would be frowned upon). I asked for something simple. Something reasonable. Like, “Can you please not talk to me like that and show a little respect?”

I expected… well, a conversation. What I got was a full-blown emotional fireworks show — the kind you didn’t ask for and can’t clap at the end of.

I didn’t yell.
I didn’t accuse.
I even used my best “therapist-approved tone.”

But somehow, I still became the villain in their story — the dramatic, overreacting, hypersensitive monster under the emotional bed.

Now, old me would’ve spiralled. I would’ve dissected every word I said like it was under forensic analysis:
“Was my tone too sharp?”
“Did I blink too aggressively?”
“Did I accidentally trigger their 2003 trauma with my boundary?”

And to be honest, that still happens from time to time. But this time… something inside me shifted.

This time, I stood still.
Not stubbornly. Not smugly.
Just — truthfully.

💥 The Pattern (a.k.a. My Emotional Groundhog Day)

Here’s what I’ve learned when your circle includes emotionally reactive people:

• Ask for something? You’re a nag.
  
• Say it calmly? You’re “starting a fight.”
  
• Set a boundary? Boom — you’re now the villain and the problem and the therapy bill.
  

It’s never what you say. It’s that you’re saying anything at all.
And in their world, your voice disrupts the vibe… even if the “vibe” is one of yelling and passive-aggression, marinated in denial.

🧠 My Jefferson Fisher Moment

Now, I’ve been watching Jefferson Fisher (if you haven’t — go, now, you’re welcome). One of his truths hit me like a gentle but firm emotional slap:

“You don’t have to match their tone. You just have to match the truth.”

So when someone starts flipping the script, raising their voice, or turning your boundary into a crime scene, I’m learning to say:

• “I’m not trying to control you — I’m asking for respect.”
  
• “I’m not yelling — I’m just not absorbing your chaos today.”
  
• “I’m not the enemy — I’m just not your emotional punching bag anymore.”
  

It’s not about shutting them down.
It’s about standing in what’s real and standing up for YOU.

🪞What I’m Learning (the hard way)

• You can love people and still say, “Nope, not today.”
  
• You can care for others without carrying their unhealed parts like a backpack full of rocks.
  
• You don’t need to scream to be heard — you just need to stop ignoring yourself.
  

And yes, sometimes healing looks like walking away mid-conversation because your peace is more important than winning the “who’s right ” Olympics.

🌿 If You’re Living in an Emotionally Reactive Environment… 

Please hear me when I say:

You’re not crazy.
You’re not dramatic.
And you’re definitely not asking for too much when you ask to be spoken to like… a human.

What you’re asking for is emotional safety.
And that’s not extra — it’s essential.

And if the people around you can’t give it to you?
You have every right to give it to yourself.
With boundaries. With silence. With exits.

🖤 Final Reflection

I used to think peace would come when everyone else finally chilled out.

Now I know…
Peace comes when I stop handing my emotional keys to people who keep crashing the car.

And that’s the work I’m doing now —
Quietly, clearly, and with just the right amount of sass.

• TJ 🤍

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